Texting and the Highly Sensitive Teen

If you are anything like me, you have embraced the texting craze, and are busy on a daily basis…chatting with friends, checking on your kids, or sending messages to a loved one.

Texting is a blast, but for some highly sensitive people, particularly teens, texting can also be pretty unsettling. Have you ever found yourself feeling hurt or wondering ‘what happened?’, while reading a simple text?

I am so grateful that we didn’t have texting when I was a teenager. I would certainly have been guilty of spending too much time trying to interpret my incoming texts! As an adult, I can now better able to manage this. But as a teen, it can really wreak havoc on your self-confidence.

Does this sound like you?

You have an incoming text from your girlfriend that reads:

Call me when you get home. I need to talk to you.

In the flash of a moment,

1. You read between the lines and just ‘know that something is wrong.’ Just by the way she ‘texted’!
2. You take it ‘there’ in your head with a flood of concerns. “OMG, is she going to break up with me? Is she sick? Has she been cheating on me?”

You and a friend have consistent texting history.

Your friend is always good at texting right back.

Then suddenly the texting diminishes.

1. You immediately begin to wonder if she is mad at you.
2. You ‘take it there’ in your head and assume that this is her way of punishing you…you get hurt or angry..
3. You continue to torture yourself trying to figure out what is wrong

Why do we do this? I’m not really sure. What I do know is that you CAN stop allowing your mind to ‘go there’ while reading texts. If and when you get a text that ‘sets you off’, have someone else read the text and ask for their honest opinion on how to interpret the text. It sounds silly and simple, but I know that so many teens will spend countless hours suffering over a text, or lack of a text to the point of anxiety and low confidence.

Being Highly Sensitive doesn’t give us permission to be ‘sensitive’ or to read between the lines. This habit can lead to many arguments and misunderstandings. It is up to us to become strong enough to resist the urge to let a text upset us in the first place.

We need to learn to control our mind, and learn to have enough of a tough skin to cover our highly sensitive body. We can do this by continually working to increase our self confidence.

Enjoy texting for what it truly was meant to be.. a quick way to get a message to someone. Not a foundation to build or judge a relationship or friendship on.

Peace and love. Brenda

How to Quiet Your Mind

If you are anything like me, you are always trying to find ways to take a five minute breather… to meditate and to practice mindfulness.  When I meditate, you will rarely see me sitting on a cushion, legs crossed, palms up… instead, I draw inward and practice mindfulness every opportunity I get! Here is how I do it..maybe you can share how you do it..

Take Photos of Nature in Motion

We all have cameras on our cell phones.. and when we have a chance, we stop to snap a ‘quick’ picture of something we like. But.. if we stop, and focus on shooting a photo of a flying bird, a tumbling tumbleweed, or even a cute little goldfish…to just witness their movement and savor the moment,  while waiting for the perfect time to snap your photo..you will notice how much you will relax, your breathing will become calmer, and as a side bonus, you will create some amazing photos at the same time.

Indulge Your Senses

There is nothing more relaxing than walking into a scent filled room. It feels like my senses drink up the smell of essential oils. So, I surround myself at home with candles, soaps, oils and lotions that I love. If I am feeling like my head is swirling, I take about 5 minutes to go sit outside with my bamboo candle, light it, and inhale the wonderful scent. I take the time to be grateful for the time, then for the flame and finally for the scent.. For me, it is very relaxing..

 Love An Animal

If you ever want to quickly get into the ‘moment’.. take a few minutes to focus 100% of your loving energy to a pet or another loving animal. Stroke your pet, focussing on loving intent being sent to every part of his body.. You will feel better, and so will your pet. If you don’t have a pet, find one. I was recently out of town, and went to a local animal adoption and spent over 30 minutes giving love to a dog who needed it.. I must have needed it too!!

Create Something

Some of my most peaceful moments have been when I am making jewelry. I am not very good at it, but it certainly is a meditative practice. If you’re not into making jewelry, find something you do like to create, and BEGIN!

Have a peaceful day..and embrace the moment.

Brenda

The Mind of a Highly Sensitive Person…

Thanks to the https://www.facebook.com/TheIntrovertEntrepreneur for the great post! I’m sharing!!

You Were a Light…

Roy Dronkers - 1953-2012

Traits of the Highly Sensitive

Since the day that I was ‘labeled’ a Highly Sensitive person by my neurotherapist a few years ago, I have been spending much of my time learning about, and spreading the word about HSP in order to help others.

For myself and for my family, learning about the HSP phenomenon was an answer to our prayers, and the answer to my chronic ailments! All these years of migraines, IBS, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia..why? Well, as an HSP, I was born with a hypersensitive nervous system.

Here are some of the other characteristics of an HSP..

Highly Sensitive Person Traits
(15-20% of the population is HSP) – (http://www.hsperson.com)

• Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
• Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
• Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
• Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
• Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
• Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
• Do you have a rich and complex inner life?

The Empath (Traits according to http://www.spiritual.com)
Here 16 common traits of an Empath. Remember that these are generalisations and they may not always be obvious.
1. Empaths are quiet achievers but expressive in area’s of emotional connection. They find that talking about emotional issues is a great outlet that aids in undertanding themselves and others.
2. Some empaths can be the opposite of what an empath ‘should’ be because they are overwhelmed or unable to handle emotion and what they feel in the world around them so they block their feelings.
3. They can be focused outward, toward what others feel, rather than themselves. This is a common trait to many people who have not gone through a process of self development.
4. They avoid disharmony caused by emotionally turbulent situations. This type of situation can easily create an uncomfortable feeling because an empath feels this emotion.
5. Empaths are emotionally sensitive to violence and general chaos.
6. Empaths are sensitive to loud noise and televison. In particular, television programs that depict emotional drama like the news and police shows.
7. Thery struggle to comprehend acts of cruelty and crime that involves hurting others.
8. They struggle to comprehend suffering in the world and are often idealists who theorise about fixing the worlds problems.
9. Are often found working as volunteers, with people, animals or the environment.
10. They are expressive so they can often be found in areas of music or the arts.
11. They often have the ability to draw others to them. This includes children and animals as they have a warmth and compassion that is beyond normal You may find that strangers always talk to you if you are an empath.
12. They can be good listeners as they generally have an interest in other people.
13. Empaths can be moody or have large mood swings due to overwhelming thoughts, feelings and emotion.
14. They are likely to have had, other paranormal experiences in their life. This could be astral projection, psychic ability or a variety of other experiences.
15. Empaths are daydreamers that have difficulty keeping focused. This is common with people who deal more IN emotion and neglect other area’s of their mind.
16. Like many people on a spiritual path Empaths frequently experience déjà vu and synchronicities. This is something that occurs to everyone however empaths are often more aware and therefore ‘look out’ for it.

I will share more as I learn. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. I am happy to pass along any information or resources you need if this too sounds like you!! Take care.

Highly Sensitive Children and Christmas..

It’s that season again… hustling crowds, holiday parties, excited children, tons of family…and of course, Santa!

We all love Christmas and the precious memories that come with the season. We can all agree that it is pure joy for parents to experience Christmas through their child’s eyes. Unless their child is highly sensitive, that is..

Highly Sensitive kids LOVE Christmas as much as the next child. However, their sensitive nervous systems can become a bit overwhelmed by the sheer excitement of it! Of course there are many sensitive children that manage the season quite well, while others truly struggle through the stress, noise and anticipation of the season.

Let’s admit it…we all get a bit stressed during the Holidays. We each have our ways to manage our stress. But, as a child becomes overwhelmed, their way of dealing with it is to ‘respond’, with one, some, or all of the responses below.

Here are some warning signs that your child may need a ‘break’ from the overstimulation of the season..

1. Your child is more clingy then ever.
2. Your child seems more whiney and cranky than normal.
3. Your child’s sleep patterns have changed.
4. Your child seems to spend more time playing by themself
5. Your child cries over presents and attention given to them.
6. Your child withdraws from the family and friends
7. Your child doesn’t want to attend parties/events

The best present you can give your child this year, is to make sure that your family/friends are aware of your sensitive child’s need to ‘react’ to the stress and over stimulation, and that you are asking for their with love and support. Chances are, the more support, the less severe your child’s reactions may be, and the more enjoyable the festivities will be for all!

Merry Christmas.. and God Bless your little angels.

Practicing Discernment in all we do…

As many of you know, I am a business/franchise/life coach/consultant/mentor/teacher/speaker..take your pick. It has always been my passion to help others through any means necessary, and it seems I have always attracted those in need, whether financially, physically, psychologically or spiritually. What I didn’t understand was that each time I did this, I was trying to help them, yet, at the same time, I was also empathing most, if not all, of the pain they were experiencing at the time. Each time I would help someone, I would actually get physical symptoms, or migraines, or depression….you name it.

It seems that my true calling is to help and heal…I know this to be true. It has taken me several years of healing myself, and of learning to build a shield of protection from those in pain. By practicing meditation and Reiki, I am better able to help friends, without feeling their pain, or experiencing their feelings, or experiencing guilt for their financial or personal issues.

Also, I have becoming blatantly aware that when I practice discernment, I am at peace in my life. That’s because I am, at those times, surrounding myself with those who are like-minded, and align with positive my energy and intent.

HOWEVER, when I fail to practice discernment and I don’t listen to my intuition,  or I ignore that ‘pit’ in my stomach when I meet someone in business, or life in general.. it always turns out very poorly.

For example, in the past, I have enabled friends. I have actually gone so far as to purchase a house, pay for vacations and basically try to buy an empty friendship by showering them with gifts. Yet, all along, I knew that this wasn’t the appropriate behavior for a friendship…. When the gifts and money were gone, so was the friendship.

However, at times, I still wonder into situations, particularly in business, that become just too much for a highly sensitive person like myself. I most recently worked for a client who has taken advantage of every single person who works for him (now including myself). When I first met him, I ignored every feeling of discomfort, every ounce of concern, in favor of a solid position in a company that promised to ‘change the world’. Of course, I want to change the world!… Sign me up! .. who wouldn’t want to align with a visionary who wants nothing but the best for the ‘universe’? …..

One very long, extremely painful month later, (and one day to be a book), I am shaking my head, realizing that once again, I am being reminded to practice discernment. Someone should have a class for practicing discernment….hmmmmmm

Nonetheless, I refuse to change who I am.. This is who I am. I am a helper, a healer, a consultant, a counselor. Yet, I need to constantly practice discernment in all I do. Easy? NO. My personal journey? DEFINITELY!!

Practice..practice..practice…

Peace and love. BREN

Mindfulness as a cure for Depression..

Mindfulness, a Buddhist Practice, as an Alternative Treatment for Depression

Posted in Depression by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Dec 17, 2010

The practice of Mindfulness, which has its origins in Buddhist philosophy and teaches people to be present in the moment and aware of their surroundings, is now being acknowledged as an alternative to antidepressants. For those who suffer from a major depressive disorder, this is great news. This information was delivered in a recent study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry and followed patients in remission. The results showed that those using Mindfulness did as well or better than those who took antidepressants or a placebo, and those patients were more likely to be protected from a relapse.One of the problems with medication in general is a lack of compliance. Basically, when people feel better they often abandon their med protocol. They may feel they don’t need it or they want to avoid some of the negative side effects.

When Mindfulness is employed both independently and with a clinician, the only side effects are positive ones. People experience a greater sense of calm and are generally able to focus better. Many previous studies have shown the positive physiological effects of the practice of Mindfulness which is why it has been used extensively in the medical profession with very good results.

This practice can be beneficial for all who undertake to learn it, with the only drawback being the amount of time required to truly see the benefits. It is necessary to spend at least 30 to 40 minutes per day in a mindfulness meditation which for many seems like time they don’t have. As a therapist, when my patients report not being able to find 30 minutes a day to relax, it becomes clear to me that this lack of time is at least one source of their anxiety or depression. I have seen the very act of making the time have a positive effect on an individual’s mood.

The next step in this discovery is to make Mindfulness available to more people. There are many clinicians trained in the practice but they may not be accessible to all because of location or finances. There are books that describe the process of mediation for the purpose of Mindfulness and there are more and more on-line resources cropping up to assist people who are interested in making Mindfulness a part of their lifestyle. See my past article on Mindfulness, and visit some of the Discussion threads below in which our DailyStrength members talk about their experiences with Mindfulness.

- Cyndi

Thankful for True Abundance

Happy Thanksgiving!! I have an exercise for all of us today. I want you to take a piece of paper and write out 10 things you are truly Thankful for. I mean seriously thankful for each and every day.

our backyard

Close your eyes… imagine your heart swelling and expanding to full abundance. Now, as you visualize your heart and all of it’s love and abundance, what do you see? Who do you see? What or who in your life are you thankful for? What makes you smile?

 

Here is my list, ( in no particular order )

My husband

My soulmate for 32 years and counting..

My family

My friends

My dogs

Charlie

My home

My health

Benny

 

 

Nature

God’s pallet

The Beach

Mother Earth

My mom and her amazing husband

My Guides and Angels

Murphy

Quiet time to myself

The lessons that I have learned

My mom is surviving her chemo treatments

As you look at your list, how many of them are material items? Not many, I bet…if any.

As I was lying in bed this morning, I felt the need to get up and jot down my thoughts this Thanksgiving. I have been reflecting through this time of spiritual enlightenment, that it is not what we can buy, or own, or control that completes us, but it is the life that we have been given, and the many Blessings that we are thankful for that gives us joy and TRUE abundance.

Everyday, God blesses me with abundance. I admit that in the past, living in a unconscious mind state, I didn’t really realize that the abundance that I felt came from the many gifts that God has blessed me with, like all of the amazing gifts that I just mentioned I am most thankful for. He has also blessed me with lessons, (both hard and easy) and I am thankful for all of them. Without lessons, good and bad, one cannot learn and grow.

Today and everyday, be thankful for these gifts that we have ben given!! Peace and love this Thanksgiving!!

 

7 Things Your Highly Sensitive Child Wants You to Know

I have been one..a highly sensitive child, that is.. Of course, when I was young there was no name for it, and no understanding as well. Now I am a sensitive adult, and most of these rules still apply… once sensitive, always sensitive.

I also have sensitive kids, so I have been through the parenting challenges of raising a highly sensitive child.

I have spent the last couple years researching this phenomenon, for lack of a better term. I have come up with a list of 7 things that every sensitive child wants you to know. There are SO many more things, but I want to give it to you in chunks..

1. Highly Sensitive kids love nature and animals. They ‘fill them up’ with positive energy, and heal their anxiety
2. Highly Sensitive kids have a very difficult time sleeping. They hear and see things that you don’t, unless you are also sensitive. So, if they tell you they are frightened by someone or something in their room, please believe them.
3. Highly Sensitive kids can tune into someone with bad or negative energy immediately. If they don’t like someone, or don’t trust someone, it is most likely for a reason.
4. Highly Sensitive kids are extremely sensitive to discipline. Because sensitive kids strive only to please, they are very upset by letting down their parents, siblings,  and friends. For a sensitive child, words are like knives, so choose them carefully. Be kind and loving with discipline, because anything else simply overstimulates these children to the point of anxiety and fear.
5. Highly Sensitive kids have very few friends..and they are OK with that. They steer clear of the drama/energy associated with too many friends, and generally will gravitate toward like-minded kids and adults.
6. Highly Sensitive kids need time to decompress. Everyday.. or maybe a few times a day. To them, the world is a huge overstimulant. By the time your sensitive child makes it through a day of school, an event or sometimes even the smallest issue, they may need to be by themselves to recharge. It is OK. This isn’t unhealthy. It is actually good for them to know when they need to recharge. Encourage it.
7. Highly Sensitive kids are extremely intuitive. When something needs to be discussed. It is best to be honest with them. They are generally very aware of other’s fears and problems.  Therefore, if you are dishonest, and they are receiving a different message/feeling, it is very confusing to them.  Trust is an issue with many sensitive kids, so be sure to always reinforce that they can always trust you.

More to follow another day.. peace and love. Brenda